Posted at: 2009-02-20

What is my escort work really about, people often seem to wonder?

Well, if I should dig deep, I think the deepest issue is the mythological drama of the merging of the archetypical, or ideal, male and female. Of God and Goddess. Not that this isn’t possible in non-commercial sexual relations, but for people lacking mental training, the everyday identities come in the way, and one dare not give oneself fully, because of this.
Here, the “prostitute” is blessingly anonymous, clean as a chalice for the Goddess. Or to speak in more modern terms, she is the perfect projection point for the “fantasy woman”, the anima, the female archetype in the male psyche. I act as the medium for her, I bring my clients to merge with the archetypical feminine principles within themselves.

But most persons don’t know of this when they hire me. They are simply looking for entertainment, to kill some time, and burn some excess money of theirs.
They are waiting bored in the hotel rooms of Copenhagen, tired from the business meetings of the day, yet restless from the forced inactivity of waiting for next day, or next flight, to come. Caught in-between moments. If they aren’t preparing next day’s presentations, or going out for business dinners, their best options for killing time are watching TV or hiring an escort.

And a funny thing here, between that television and me, is that in a way we are both arcane with sacred roots. Because what is the TV showing if not, theatre, sport and politics (also the most sleazy TV-shows are at heart social politic; establishing norms for how human relationships are supposed to be, by showing off the abnormal, as a mean to define the desired normality).
These subjects on TV; theatre, sport and politics, - well, they are not so much different from ancient days, then their meaning was clearly religious. Theatre started up as pantomimes in religious rites (which recreated the spiritual reality into the world of humans), sports where dedicated to showing one’s life-force for the gods and thus reach into communion with them, and politics, yes, that most of all has always been a good given matter, the divine law, creating order out of chaos and giving meaning to human life.

But now, the reader might think here; of course today’s mainstream television is a watered out thing, really low-quality compared to the ancient dramas? Well, don’t be so sure, I would say. The more watered out, predictable, stereotype and filled of cliché, the closer it goes to the religious/psychological core. It goes clean-cut, so to speak.
(Well now, in a way, I guess this might be kind of self-fulfilling, seen to that most film-makers also have been reading Jung and Frazer in school, and hence themselves believe that there is a kind of limited and given dramas to create stories of, if they are to capture the interest of people.)

Anyway, I would say that when people switch on the TV, for killing time, to engage in what they think is profane and simple entertainment, it’s really a spiritual search for communion with something larger than the single self. And the same goes when they hire me.
They might think that they are satisfying “dirty desires”, engaging in the lowest of low culture, but really, it’s just the same religious dramas and the same holy prostitute priestess that were around some five thousand years ago.

Now, here, to put in a personal angle, I might tell you that I don’t have a TV, haven’t had one in many years, and am in no way considering to ever getting one. How does this compute with what I have written above, you might wonder?
Well, it’s because I, despite my interest for mystic mumbo-jumbo, do believe that Durkheim was right on that “God is society writ large”, that the divine, the “God” just is an abstraction, or projection, of the society itself as a larger whole.*

And I don’t want to be merged into that entity, into society. I’m a fallen woman, in more than one sense. It’s not that I believe than one ever can disengage, get mentally free, from one’s social setting. But by measurement of degree, I think one can be more or less merged into the body of society. And here I strive for increasing my mental space of individual freedom.
So, despite that I see the spiritual truths merging through main-stream culture, I’ve banned television from my home, and despite my love of books, I play the blond bimbo in the hotel beds of Copenhagen.
And on the whole, I think my path is leading me in just the right direction.

*If you had troubles buying my statement about consumption of entertainment TV as “a spiritual search for communion with something larger than the single self”, just think society=God. And I think that you will agree that watching TV is a search for social communion. Hmm, well at least in comparison to activities like playing tetris on one’s laptop . . .
And if you wonder where I finally end up here, with contrasting “the holy and the profane”, well in the end, I think they are just one and the same. All is One - as another old wisdom tells.

Posted at: 2009-02-14

Lot of time has passed, since I first did get the idea about to write a blog. Yet, only a single entry has crowned this page. Why?

Because I’ve been unable to find the right approach – image – tone, or what one now would like to call it. It’s not that I’ve lacked ideas about what I would like to write about, but I’ve feared that my thoughts and opinions eventually would scare more potential clients away, than they would attract.
I fear that I have got too much an approach of the outsider, the dry bookworm, to match my looks of the blonde and innocent young girl. I guess I should write easy-going stuff, like some easily digested and entertaining sneak-peak, into what superficial interests about fashion, shopping and celebrity gossip, that glamorous escort girls are supposed to occupy their minds with.
And of course mix it all up with a nice tantalizing doze of completely fake erotic fantasies and anecdotes. (At least the latter kind would by necessity have to be fake, since it never would do for a real client to find himself exposed on my website, no matter how anonymously described.)
But I would find that kind of silly girlish chatter boring like hell. And my very disgust of boring things, is what first brought me into this enterprise. So it would feel like rather stupid, to suddenly start doing some mind-killing boring stuff here, on the very website, which saved me from that kind of stuff in the first place.

It’s not that I don’t master the art of creating nonsense conversations out of anything; - from the Scandinavian weather to how hotel breakfasts vary in different Copenhagen hotels. It’s something I do like jogging on a treadmill, without having to really think about where I place my feet.
But it’s because there is a stimulating motivation in the physical presence of another person to talk with. The social small-talk isn’t about the talk itself, but the function of it, as some kind of personal confirmation and bonding.
But again here, if I’m to be honest, with most people I meet, I sooner or later turn the conversation into some interesting topic, something that is worth discussing for the sake of itself. I just cannot help myself there. And actually, most clients do seem to enjoy it.
But then again, maybe it’s just my smile and my shining blue eyes, and the fact that we are on a date with a secured ending in the bed, that makes them like me, no matter what I’m talking about. But if so, well, no harm done in any case! I can just as well enjoy myself.
And I do learn a lot on my dates, get much better inputs (new and unexpected inputs) than if I was to share my thoughts with someone about my own age.

Some esoteric teachings perceive the female identity as consisting of three aspects; maid, mother and crone. And to my outer appearance, I’m still the maid, and have looked far younger than my actual years as long as I can remember. But my mind has always been that of the crone, the old one.
It’s a combination of paradoxes, and the aspect of mother has always been vague in me. Sometimes I think I might pass right on from being girlish to being wizened, like over a night, but hopefully that will wait at least another decade.
Anyway, seen to what my nature is like, it does make sense if this website will encompass this double nature of mine. The pictures showing the maid, and the texts showing the crone.
And hopefully, somewhere in-between, I do have the warm heart of the mother, somewhere. After all, I do believe, that men ultimately are searching for a return to the womb (or at least a brief moment of reconnection to this dark place where life begins) when they are engaging in the act of lovemaking.

But to finish this entry; a crucial matter, to why I now finally dare to start this blog up, is simply because I’m nowadays safely netted into society’s safe web with a normal employment. Now, when I’m not economically dependent on my escorting anymore, I can afford to take some risks, and maybe scare some guys. Money rules, eh?

Posted at: 2006-11-16

The fourth version of my homepage has now finally been “set loose” on the net! Those of you who already know me a bit closer, know that it has taken far more time than I had planned to get it all finished. The ideas for this site were conceived already in July, and the site planned to be up and running early in October. And now it’s soon December . . . My new pictures are almost out of date at their very debut on the net. (I guess I will have to plan in a complementary new shot already sometime in February.)
But better late than never, as it’s said. And I’m really pleased and happy about the result, I guess that is why the work took so long, I’m not an easily pleased client for website makers to work for.
But the biggest change in my doings is not just the website, but that I have expanded from only being a local escort, to also being able to travel internationally for dates. This feels really huge, to go from the tiny Öresund area to a more or less global market. The perspective is almost bewildering. Ok, I’ve tried travelling with some well known clients in a more informal manner, but I haven’t done it on the professional level I’m going into now. Hopefully I have worked out all the risk managements and administrative matters sufficiently.
A nice thing with internet is that one so easily can communicate with other colleagues in this business all over the world, and get information about how to arrange practical things, despite all the complications about safety, anonymity and legality, that one has to deal with in this line of work.
And more important yet, one gets to learn nice attitudes and conceptions for this kind of enterprise. That it really is possible to have a positive and non-conflict based approach to the clients and the own identity. That one can learn to internalise alternative emotional notions about what sexuality is to be like, which make it possible to grow emotionally and sexually - away from the old fashioned doctrine of “vulgarity and male penetration” into “eroticism and female enfoldment”.
The purpose of this website is both to attract the clients that already share this kind of understanding with me, and to educate presumptive clients into being able to internalise this kind of notions. So that I to 100% can work on the “light side” of this business. Then it will indeed work for me to travel away for several days to persons I’ve never met before.
I also think this blogging and the future growth of my website will be an excellent way for me to develop myself as a person and grow as an escort, and to see how far I can develop my way of feeling and thinking into functioning as efficiently as possible with the world I live in.